Jim Aifandis in

Canary Capers

 

 

Race guide cover - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

 

jimaifandis.com

 

 

1. Quick Pick

 

Canary Islands map

            I was now back in Oz after the Ironman New Zealand 06 disaster, where bad weather got rid of the swim, halved the bike and halved the run. (I decided not to do this silly race as crossing the finish line and getting an “Ironman” medal would have been too hollow to swallow.)

            I had to pick and I had to pick quick as I wanted my next Ironman attempt to be soon so as not to train in the cold Adelaide winter due in a few months. The shortlist was Brazil or the Canary Islands. On reading that the Brazil race could start in cold weather before warming up during the day, it was an easy decision to make. There was no way I was going to risk being cold again after the freezing conditions encountered in New Zealand. So, it was off to the Canary Islands to find a canary. But where were they?

 

2. Which Way?

 

            If you drilled a straight shaft from your living room in Adelaide, down through to the centre of the Earth and out the other end, you would virtually end up at the Canary Islands which are part of Spain. This diametricity meant the Sydney-Madrid leg had 4 routing options where the total trip time from Adelaide to the Canary Islands would be 34-40 hours. After entering the race, I decided I would visit Greece and Ibiza, maybe stopover somewhere, and be gone 3 weeks max so I wouldn’t miss Giorgia too much.

 

Via Bangkok, Jo ’burg, LA or Santiago

Brain lock, iceberg, today, Amigo

 

Sydney to Canary Islands map

Canary Islands to Sydney map

 

            After spending one solid week planning this trip, where no training was done, it all became too hard and I pulled out of this race. Customs, immigration, connections, 13 hour flights, around the world fare restrictions, excess baggage charges, hotels, ground transport, layovers. Forget it! I was free again.

 

 

3. Yoyo

 

No buttonQuestion markQuestion mark

 

Jim Aifandis email - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Jim Aifandis email - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

What! Sara was happy for me to pull out of this race! Well, I’ll show her! Nobody gets to tell me it’s ok to not do this race!!!

 

Jim Aifandis email - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Yoyo

 

Question markQuestion markYes button

 

 

4. Mountainous Goatus

 

            I had two months to train for the windiest, hillyest, hottest, hardest Ironman in the known universe. The bike course was the equivalent (in terms of both distance and climbing metres), of riding from Glenelg to Mt Lofty and back, guess how many times? Once? No. Twice? No. Three times a lady? No. The answer was 3.5 times. This was the scary picture on the race website that ensured I did enough hill climbing to earn the title of Mountainous Goatus.

            One drill by Kerran had me going up molehill Waterfall Gully Rd four times in my hardest gear – ie the gear you would normally use to scream down a steep hill. There was one section where I would slow down so much that I was at risk of bitumen connection.

            The race manual recommended a humongous 25 or 27 tooth back cog. (Steep hills need a lot of teeth on the back cog.) My bike only went up to a 23. I decided to stay with the 23, train in the Adelaide hills using a 21 and have the 23 as an emergency gear come race day. I would become a stronger cyclist but the trade was that running pace could be somewhat reduced as legs would be more fatigued. I reasoned that I would save more minutes on the bike, than I would lose on the run.

            But, this plan would work only if I really could climb all the steepest hills in training using a 21. I was off. Norton Summit? Check. Mt Lofty? Check. Corkscrew-Tregarthen Rd-Checkers on the same ride? Check. Well this was a bit too easy.

Cyclist climbing steep hill - Ironman Lanzarote

 

 

 

            Here is a same scale comparison of the Lanzarote and New Zealand bike course elevations. Having seen a cyclist walk his bike up a hill in New Zealand, just how many cyclists would do the same in Lanzarote?

 

Bike elevation - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Bike elevation - Ironman New Zealand 2005

 

            During one hot long bike ride, I bought two Gatorades at a service station. The first one didn’t work. And the second one didn’t work either. No matter how much I tried, I could not get either bottle to work. Oh no! Do I just throw them away or ask for them to be fixed? I chose the latter and went back to the shopkeeper.

            “Um err yes um…the lids um the lids yes they’re on too tight. Can you maybe try and open these bottles for me?”

            I escaped with two working bottles and just two shopkeepers thinking strange thoughts. In a few weeks time however, a similar incident somewhere in Spain would cause many more people to think strange thoughts.

 

 

5. Hit The Road, Jack

 

Thai Airways 747

Thai: The Good: extra 5cm leg room. The Bad: no personal video screen.

 

 

If you paid me to go on this trip

I would say no way, read my lip

 

 

            But I went anyway. After almost 30 hours straight sooking, I was in Madrid. (The only non-sooky-la-la moment was when dinner was being served and the flight attendant said to me in mixed up English, “careful of the cold bread!”) I got a sandwich at the airport and tried to get it out of its plastic but couldn’t. I tried again and couldn’t. I mob of Madridians were watching. Again. Nup. Mega-mob. The sandwich was laughing its head off but I fixed it as I got my car key out and punctured this pest. Just a few more hours of sooking to go.

 

        With Ibiza put on hold (maybe next year) and the around the world ticket option ditched, this trip was simplified to a week in the Canary Islands and a week in Greece. I was so glad that my travel plans had evolved into a manageable 9 flights over 19 days with only 34 hours needed to get from Adelaide to the Canary Islands, a short 13 hour Bangkok to Madrid flight and overnight stays at only Athens and Melbourne airports! Was I mad?

 

Sooking boarding pass - Jim Aifandis

 

 

6. Lanzarote

 

            Didn’t this isle, just suit my style? The tropical climate enveloped both the wide brown sandy beaches of the coastal towns and the spectacularly volcano punctured hinterland. Oh, and the wind. Yes, the wind…

            I stayed at a beachfront hotel in Puerto del Carmen, which was just metres away from the start/finish line! This would make race morning preparation a walk in the park.

 

Suffering text in race guide - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Hotel - Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

View from my hotel room

 

Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

Downtown Puerto del Carmen

            There wasn’t going to be any thousand dollar plus mobile phone bill on this trip. At AU$15/hour to ring Oz, I was a phonecard convert.

            During lunch one day, I was offered camel kebab. A bit strange I thought, but considering that ‘roo stew was on offer in Oz, maybe not so strange. Before I could further enquire, Dromedary or Bactrian, I was informed that camel kebab wasn’t kosher by the amused keeper of the shop.

 

Lanzarote flag

 

7. Foundation

 

Jim Aifandis at beach - Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

My friends and I

Jim Aifandis at beach - Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

More friends and I

 

        Apart from a 9km (5.6mi) bike/ 4km (2.5mi) run brick and a few laps of the pool, the only training for race day in Lanzarote was mental. I had to get Brain on side and with the help of a sports psych this was the plan: just keep Brain distracted during the whole race so he doesn’t go off and end up in an abyss of negative thought. All aboard for Distraction City.

 

8. Welcome To Distraction City, Enjoy Your Stay

 

        You know that bit about staying a few steps from the start line making race morning a walk in the park? Well it’s crap! Of around a thousand starters, I was probably the last one to get to the start line.

            My race started with a jog down the hotel corridor, followed by a sprint to swim control, followed by a two hundred metre world record attempt to the start line as I realised there were no fellow late competitors anywhere to be seen.

 

Swim leg - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Swimmers, fish and a lane rope.

 

Swim start - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            But all this rushing was for nothing! I had to wait at least three minutes before the race started!!!

            The orange caps went first, followed by us yellow caps one minute later. Into the water with the usual suspects: can’t get enough air, water is too cold, too many people, what am I doing here, blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all before!

            Before long, I was into a comfortable rhythm doing my usual trick of swimming from buoy to buoy to ensure my swim path was as short as possible.

            Half the course was marked by the longest pool lane rope, which made navigation a breeze. I was doing this with ease. So with the formalities out of the way, it was time for my inaugural visit to Distraction City. Just what would it be like in DC?

            First stop in this city was replaying in my head “For A Girl, In This World”, a video I made for Giorgia’s first birthday containing heaps of motion, colour and music. I reached the half way point in 38 minutes. With a swim PB on the cards today, DC was the place to be.

            Out of the water for a few metres, and then back in to start the second lap. The swell had picked up and I began to feel just the slightest bit queasy. But there was no time to dwell on this swell as I was with ditty in Distraction City. And, got myself a swim PB today!

 

SWIM LEG

3.8km (2.4mi)

1:18:36

62 seconds/50m

735th fastest of

964 starters

top 76%

 

Swim leg - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Giorgia Aifandis at UN

Giorgia addresses the UN General Assembly

 

Giorgia Aifandis at Disneyland

Giorgia and friends at Disneyland

 

9. It’s A Transient Thing

 

            An emerging enemy in past Ironman races has been a wandering Brain. When he has all the time in the world, he will take me all over the world. But today would be different. Brain was to visit Distraction City for the whole day, so he wouldn’t pester me with analysing past events of the day, worrying about future events of the day, creating mountains out of molehills and telling me that the race was insane.

 

Bikes at transition - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Bags at transition - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            A 9:31 transition which didn’t even include a toilet stop! Not happy Jan.

 

 

10. Regiment By Segment

 

            But I couldn’t stay unhappy for long as I was back in DC. The 180km (112mi) bike leg was broken up into 18 lots of 10km (6.2mi) segments. The first segment was assigned the A-song, the second segment the B-song and so on all the way to the 18th segment with the R-song. I blasted out of transition with a mini Mars Bar, a salt tablet and the A-song.

 

 

I like to be in America

Okay by me in America

Everything free in America

For a small fee in America

 

 

            My position as President of House, Asia-Pacific Chapter would be in serious jeopardy if word got out that I was entertaining such blatantly anti-house tunes.

Lanzarote

 

            I was ready to start overtaking cyclists: 10, 20, 30? Just how many would I reel in during the first hour? How about none! This was Lanzarote, and all previous experience need not apply. The fact that I always reel in heaps of cyclists coz I’m faster on the bike than in the water, was lost in the wind. The wind, yes the wind…The calibre of cyclists here was much better than in other races. But there was no capacity to despair coz I had the A-song looping in my head. I was in America and everything was okay by me!

 

 

11. Earth, Wind & Fire

 

Bike leg - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            The road surface varied quickly from Hotmix Highway to the much more readily available Coarse Concourse. The latter would make things rattle on your bike that you didn’t know you had on your bike. Numerous cyclists were delayed by technical problems. If your bike was not in tiptop condition, Lanzarote would not hesitate in telling you which part wasn’t up to scratch.

            The weather in the morning was around 20C (68F) which was ideal and the wind was just everywhere except behind you! But I knew that this course would be really windy so this wasn’t a surprise at all. Anyway, I had other things to think about as I was transitioning to the C-song segment. Segment transitions involved saying sentences to myself containing a certain word: This is so easy. How easy is this? I cannot believe how easy this is. Whether it was true or not, it was going to be repeated during each segment transition. Maybe I could even get Brain to agree on occasions.

 

Giorgia Aifandis on bike - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

A lone spectator cheers on a cyclist in the 0-4 age group

 

 

 

All the leaves are brown

And the sky is grey

I’ve been for a walk

On a winter’s day

I’d be safe and warm

If I was in LA

California dreamin’

On such a winter’s day

 

 

 

            I was progressing surely but slowly through this course. All hills were being done reasonably easily on my 21 tooth back cog. I was feeling great. Most times there was no need to work out if you were being slowed by the wind or the hills or the road surface as it tended to be all three at once.

            I don’t normally find out what food will be offered at the aid stations as I am happy to be surprised on the day. This was a mistake for this race coz I only found bananas and oranges! This lack of variety could have got me into big trouble but luckily I had Mars Bars, gels and Powerbars with me. Oh and a crowd of salt tablets which were being consumed at the rate of one per hour, not gonna lose any power!

 

 

            I absolutely loved the once only circumnavigation of this island. Every millimetre was unchartered and changing territory. The scenery was spectacular, especially riding through the lava fields. Oh and a new category was added to the list of road surfaces. The extreme Coarse Concourse was beaten by Marble Motorway where this road had pebbles the size of marbles sticking out from an already rough road surface. This road would roll a tank!

            The best hill climb was done watching a herd of camels walking in a line, transporting tourists around a small volcano. How fantastic was this! Lanzarote was never boring and never dull with all these Dromedaries. I recognised one of the tourists. It was Lady Penelope.

           

Wind - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Lady Penelope on camel

 

            “Hello L Pen”, I said.

            “Good day James”, said Lady Penelope. “Your job application for the pilot of the new Thunderbird 6 has been unsuccessful on this occasion for your information. We can look after ourselves all right. Take or leave us, only please believe us. We ain't ever gonna be disrespectable.

            “Err, um, oh well thanks for letting me know L Pen. Can I ask the reason?”

            “Certainly James. Your level of fitness was too low.”

 

12. Attack

 

            Coz I knew that sometimes it would be tough going in DC, I had a contingency plan. If a looping song somehow looped its way off the radar, I would toggle to this song, to bring me back into the current tense:

 

So you do what is needed

Meet ‘til the sorrow

This is the way we stand

Caught in the crossfire

Burnt by it's anger

This is the current stand

 

Once stabilised, it was an easy toggle back to the original song. This contingency plan was invoked a number of times, but would the super-contingency plan be needed?

            Around the half way mark, I stopped to do a wee on the side of the road, having concluded that the local custom allows this. Of course the wind saw to it that the target would be my bike!

            The longest climb of the day to the top of a 600m (1,968ft) tall better-be-extinct volcano had started. (Compare Mt Lofty at 727m (2,385ft)) Just how tough could this thing really be?

            With many distractions and a well tuned engine, this wasn’t too tough at all. The climb was just fantastic. The scenery, the villages, the countryside, the twists, the turns and finally the summit. The most amazing thing about this climb was that I saw no-one walking their bikes! Having seen walkers in both New Zealand and Japan , I thought this course would be loaded with them. But I was wrong. Again, this reinforced just how good the cyclists were here.

Jim Aifandis on bike - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Mars Bar munching

 

 

 

Raffi Aghanian falls of bike - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Raffi Aghanian 49, a police officer from the UK just couldn’t pedal anymore up this hill. Raffi then walked his bike but didn’t finish the bike leg.

            While I was feeling great and still happily in DC with K-song and still happily popping salt tablets and munching Mars Bars, my average speed was really slow. But this would soon be fixed, with a huge downhill coming up.

            Zoomed down for a few hundred metres, then slammed on the brakes to go ‘round a hairpin turn, and again. This erratic journey continued until half way down when it was time to start a 200m (656ft) climb of an adjoining hill. So much for increasing average speed here! Now the climb to the top of this hill was tough going. There were fantastic coastline views but I couldn’t be distracted for 2 reasons: one was the L-song playing in DC and the other was that I was travelling at 6km/h (3.7mph), and I needed to maintain this pace, stop, or fall off like poor Raffi did.

 

Rain on my sKin

I feel a gentle summer wind

In your eyes

I can see the deep blue sky

 

Let it rain

Let it colour all my skin

Let it rain

Wash away my doubts and pain

 

Jim Aifandis race number - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            The top of this hill saw two-thirds of the bike completed. 120km (75mi) in an average 21km/h (13mph)!!! How slow was this? Was it really time to start calculating whether I could reach transition before the bike cut-off time? The big compensation was that I felt fine.

            So downhill again when scary incident #2 occurred. It was the usual hairpin turn and I was just going too fast. I managed to negotiate this turn ok but I needed to be much more careful. Scary incident #1 occurred earlier in the day when a side wind gust made me wobble way too much for my liking. The hairpin turns disappeared and for the first time today I was cruising. It was downhill on a Hotmix Highway with a tail wind! This lasted for many kilometres until an inland turn presented the usual uphill on a Coarse Concourse with a head wind. From a maximum speed of 73km/h (45mph) not long ago, I was now down to 12km/h (7.5mph). Twas ok with me.

 

20 litres text in race guide - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Race Guide. I think not!

 

            I polished off my last Mars Bar which had melted. This was the hottest part of the day at around 26C (79F). The downhill to transition had started. I momentarily stopped to put back my dropped chain – don’t shift front and back gears at the same time!

            Just before I entered transition with R-song, an oblivious but obvious spectator crossed my path. I yelled out and we happily continued on our separate ways. I made the bike cut-off easily with almost two hours to spare. And I never needed to go past my 21 tooth back cog. I estimated 7.5 hours for the bike and I took just a little longer than this. I was very happy that I had increased my average speed during the last third of the bike.

 

And I’ll Remember

The strength that you gave me

Now that I’m standing on my own

I’ll remember

The way that you saved me

I’ll remember

 

BIKE LEG

180km (112mi)

7:44:58

23.2 km/h (14.4mph)

727th fastest of

964 starters

top 75%

 

 

13. Get Gone

 

            Off the bike after almost 8 hours and I was ready. Another long transition (6:41) but at least a toilet stop was included this time. I felt great and I couldn’t wait to mow each runner down one by one. Running off the bike was my strength. The plan in Distraction City was simple: 8 laps with 8 letters of the alphabet left so start with S-song and finish with Z-song.

 

Run course map - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Jim Aifandis running - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            A volunteer in transition told me I had a good attitude going into the run, compared with some other competitors she had seen. I wanted to tell her all about DC and invite her for a visit but there was no time, I was in my prime. Gonna have so much fun in the sun on this run.

 

Started out, last night

I was thinkin' of days gone by

Of the times, I've had

And the things that I've left behind

Some change, some die

Still we manage to survive

It's knowin' when, and what to do

It's up to you

Don't know what's goin' on

I can't wait 'til

 

One Summer, I'll find a way

One summer, will always remain

One summer, remember the way

 

            It didn’t take long at all to find a comfortable rhythm. It was warm but I wished it was stinking hot so everybody else could drop like flies. A mostly flat 5.25km (3.26mi) stretch along the coast with 3 aid stations that you traversed 8 times together with a 0.2km (0.1mi) section at the start, made up the 42.2k (26.2mi) run course. I allowed myself to walk each aid station.

            In no time I had reached the turn-around point. I was aiming for around 34 minutes a lap to get a run time of 4.5 hours today. And the first lap? 31:00! And how many runners did I overtake? None! Yep. The competitors here were just as good on the run, as they were on the bike! Lap 2 in 34:11 and lap 3 in 35:16. Slowing a bit, but still on target.

            I was on lap 4 and heading back to the start line which would complete half the run. I knew I was slowing down. I think the biggest factors coming into play now were, the energy spent pushing my bike through the wind and the Coarse Concourse, the monotony of the run course and and and, the very basic food on offer at the aid stations. With a selection of only oranges or bananas, tummy was getting mighty cross. The first aid station also had gels but I was carrying gels on me anyway as well as Powerbars. Lap 4 in 39:07, for a 21.2km (13.2mi) time of 2:20:41.

 

14. It’s Not So Bad

 

            My 4.5 hour goal was no longer likely. The second half of the run was getting tough but it was still very doable. I stayed in DC and continued my salt tablet popping. The thought of more bananas, gels and Powerbars was sickening. I had been eating these things for 12 hours already. Wasn’t that enough? I really wanted something solid like chocolate or cake or chips or just anything! Lap 5 in 38:10.

            I started lap 6 where the aid station was now offering pastries. “No thanks”. I couldn’t believe I said this. Was I mad? This was just what I wanted and I said no! Here was my biggest need being handed to me on a silver platter and I said no! Brain argued with me that he thought this might be against the rules to accept such food. I told him that it was offered by an official at an official aid station and not to be so ridiculous.

            My walks through the aid stations had increased from a few metres to a few tens of metres. A colossal fight had developed between Brain and Tummy. How I wish those two would not always hang together. Tummy clearly had the upper hand now as he had Brain just about out of DC. Lap 6 in 44:34 included the last toilet pit stop. Could I possibly run any slower?

Giorgia Aifandis running - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

One of the younger competitors

 

Jim Aifandis running - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

 

 

My tea's gone cold

I'm wondering why

I got out of bed at all

 

The morning rain

Clouds up my window

And I can't see at all

 

And even if I could

It'd all be grey

But your picture on my wall

 

It reminds me

That it'z not so bad

It's not so bad

 

 

 

            Nup! Lap 7 in 43:01. It had cooled down now, was getting dark and I boxed Brain on the head and said yes to the pastry this time.

            Tummy was happy, Brain was happy, and Oesophagus was no longer threatening to become two way. The charge to the finish line had begun.

 

 

            Pace increased as I got closer to the finish line. I was tunnelling through the darkness to a distant light. The light had its tractor beam set on me and it was pulling me in. Faster and faster again. I was grinning from ear to ear. Nothing was hurting and nothing was an effort. I finished. The race director who personally congratulates all finishers said “Thank you for your smile.” I just completed the hardest Ironman on Earth. It’s not so bad!

 

 

RUN LEG

42.2km (26.2mi)

5:04:02

7:12 mins/km, 8.3km/h

(11:36 mins/mi, 5.2mph)

709th fastest of

964 starters

top 74%

 

 

OVERALL

14:23:46

position 728th of

964 starters

top 76%

 

Jim Aifandis finishes - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

15. Spectacular Spectacular

 

Ain-Alar Juhanson on bike - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

Ain-Alar Juhanson won in 8:54:11

 

            I was feeling just fine. On the way to the massage tent, I walked through the medical tent. There were rows of finishers on intravenous drips. This was the scary side of Ironman. I had a massage, discovered two moderate sunburnt patches, degunked myself and then had a feast at the finishers’ tent. And what did I do next? Another feast of course. Burger and fries! Yum.

 

            From the time I started the race to the time I finished the race, I pretty much had three quarters of the field in front of me and one quarter behind me.

            Ain-Alar and I both finished Ironman Lanzarote, but with a suitcase of a difference on the scales: He weighed 91kg (201lb) and I weighed 68kg (150lb).

 

Jim Aifandis medal - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Jim Aifandis bracelet - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

 

 

Jim Aifandis run pace graph - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

Jim Aifandis certificate - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

 

Ironman New Zealand 2005 vs Ironman Lanzarote 2006 statistics

 

Lanzarote median time only 10 minutes higher than NZ.. Crawling ok on run leg in Lanzarote.. Canary reportedly sighted in Lan

 

        While the Lanzarote course was much tougher than New Zealand, the casual observer comparing race median times would never uncover this information. I think the Lanzarote 06 gang of 964 competing on the NZ course would see a plummeting median race time, while the NZ 05 gang of 1166 competing on the Lanzarote course would see a skyrocketing median race time.

 

Karin Thürig - Ironman Lanzarote 2006

 

            Here are some excerpts from an interview with Karin Thürig, the women’s winner in 9:52:43 at www.ironman.com

 

On the day that saw the most difficult conditions in the 15-year history of Ironman Lanzarote, Karin Thürig dominated the day by 25 minutes thanks to the 15th fastest bike split overall.

 

Lanzarote’s bike course is known as the most difficult in the Ironman series with very rough roads and more than 9000 feet (2600 meters) of climbing. On race day organizers around race director Kenneth Gasque measured record winds up to 45 mph, mostly blowing in the athletes faces.

 

“In the first 30 miles on the bike I had a queasy feeling; the wind was so strong and gusty. Often I wasn’t in aero position because I was scared a gust would blow me into another competitor while passing them.”

 

In time trial she divides the course mentally into little pieces, and only concentrates on where she is at the moment. “With that strategy I can avoid negative thoughts and self-pity, when my legs hurt. Some years ago, I often thought, oh my God, I still have the half distance ahead of me and then I slowed down automatically. Now I just concentrate on the moment,” she said. “In an Ironman I use that strategy only when I get in trouble. For example in the last 10 k of the marathon, then I focus only on the distance from one aid station to the other. And if that doesn’t help, I start counting back from 5000 in threes. Since your brain can only have one thought at a time I can’t think about my hurting legs anymore.”

 

            Wasn’t I in good company? Karin has her own DC, just like me! I’ll have to keep this in mind as I may visit Karin’s DC in a future race. I was glad that I had the key to Brain and not the other way around and that I didn’t need to summon the top secret super-contingency plan.

 

16. Save The Best For Last

 

        The 15 salt tablets did their job well keeping hyponatremia and its horrible fatigue out of the equation. Two things I would do differently at my next Ironman: (1) Make a food plan. Decide what to eat, when to eat, what to carry on me, what to get from an aid station and what to put in my Special Feedbags to be picked up during the bike and run legs. I haven’t made use of Special Feedbags in the past, but that’s now in the past! No more winging it. (2) Don’t walk through each aid station on the run coz there could be lots of ‘em. I passed an aid station 24 times which was way too many times to be walking. That was a short walk every 1.8km (1.1mi)? Silly!

 

            There was a knock on the door. It was Giorgia.

            “Hi Koukla”, I said. “Uncle Jim finished. How did you go?”

            “I finished too Uncle Jim”, said Giorgia. “Now, if you don’t mind, can you maybe please stop wearing the same stuff that I do? Oh and also, no need to look for a canary anymore coz I finally found one and here he is. His name is Bird.”

            “Hello Bird”, I said. “Aren’t you awfully big for a canary?”

My Ironman races - Jim Aifandis

In terms of both percentage and time, Lanzarote is last on my list. It was my slowest race, but it was my best race.

 

 

17. Madrid Mayhem

 

            My flight from Lanzarote to Madrid was delayed by 30 minutes leaving only 75 minutes to connect to an international flight in another terminal by another airline in another time. After spending many minutes in Madrid waiting for luggage, shuttling along a motorway to another terminal and waiting for the shuttle luggage door to win a fight with the shuttle passenger door, at check-in I found myself as the northern bookend to a drug affected passenger who was hurling abuse in Spanish at his southern bookend whilst intermittently bumping this northern bookend. He was denied boarding and so was I.

 

Lanzarote

Lanzarote

 

 

 

Madrid airport monitors

TVing

 

 

            He sealed his fate by what he had snorted and I sealed my fate by what I had courted. The dazzle of cheap as chips non-refundable Internet fares shielded me from realising the risky connection time. So AU$260 later and I was booked on the next flight to Greece. After a lazy schedule of eating, Interneting, phone homing, sleeping, text messaging, reading, sleeping, TVing and the odd probing from the Israeli national carrier El Al concerned at a bike case and owner spending too much time near its counter, it was time to leave for Athens. A 14 hour Ironman was a walk in the park compared to spending 19 hours at this airport!

 

 

18. Volos

 

Volos promenade, Greece

Volos promenade

 

            My instructions to the taxi driver for the journey from the Volos bus station to my grandpa’s house were clear: Alikes beach where the number 6 bus stops and don’t go through Pefkakia coz that’s the long way! The advantages of being a local. The weather was just perfect – in the 30s C (90s F) and hot.

 

Jim Aifandis and relatives in Volos, Greece

It was great to catch up with the gang again. It had been 2 years but it felt like 2 weeks.

 

Jim Aifandis and cousins at Alikes Beach, Volos, Greece

My cousins and I at Alikes Beach

 

Ski field near Volos, Greece

Here is the ski field uncovered, that I last visited 23 years ago. My brother Kerry whacked me on the nose with his ski stick thing all those years ago and he still hasn’t said sorry. But I’ve forgotten all about it anyway.

 

19. I’m Leaving On A Jet Plane

 

Fierce animal sign - Bangkok Airport

            The 4 seats to myself from Athens to Bangkok and 3 seats to myself from Bangkok to Sydney didn’t make spending midnight to 7am at Melbourne airport any easier.

What was I complaining about? I had survived a 19 hour stint at Madrid. This 7 hour stint would be easy. I fell asleep in the deserted less cold international terminal, while giving daggers to the airport hotels across the road.

            I awoke with a fright. It was dark. I couldn’t believe they turned the lights off. I could not even see an illuminated exit sign anywhere. I stumbled searching for a light. I found a lamp and turned it on. I was in my living room and I had been home for two days!!! Does this mean I now have to sleep with the light on at home as well as when I go away?

 

20. Bird

 

Jim Aifandis with Giorgia and Big Bird - Puerto del Carmen, Lanzarote

 

 

The End